I'm grumpy, just warning you.

The children have had a chest cold for the last week or so. I never get their viruses, but it causes some kind of immune reaction swelling my joints, and I ache. Then it was time for my cycle, which has kicked my butt this month. Last night, my migraine was so bad I was nauseous and writhing with nerve pain down my leg. My skin is a disaster, and I've been weepy for days.

It doesn't help that I've been really sad about the fact that I want more kids and my husband doesn't. I found out one of my best friends is pregnant the day after we had some hard talks about it. I'm so happy for her, but it hurts. I know just a couple of posts ago, I said I had peace about it, but that changes according to my hormones. I don't know why I agreed to a vasectomy. I had doubts, but I ignored them - only realizing (three months after the deed was done) that we made a mistake. The world tells me, "Hey, ya got four kids; that's more than most people, just enjoy them and be thankful." I do enjoy them, and I am extremely thankful for them - I just have room in my heart for more.

So, as a diversion, I throw myself into trying to get a grip on my health and energy. I'm using MyFitnessPal on my tablet, and have stuck to the app's recommended calorie intake. The weather has been unseasonably warm, and we've been taking our 2 mile walks around the neighborhood.

My mom keeps an eye out for gluten-free snacks for me at stores like Ross, Marshall's, and Home Goods because they often have them at closeout prices. Both of these were really good; the cookies were perfectly chewy and had nice flavor. The sweet potato chips are available at Amazon.

The kids have been downloading apps like crazy to their tablets; some of their latest favorites are Playmobil Pirates, Mini Pets, Jetpack Joyride, and of course, the myriad of Angry Birds options. We gorge on audio and print books for a couple of weeks, and then slow down to almost none - preferring to watch documentaries about things instead. They've been writing and doing math. I'm frustrated with Teaching Textbooks; it's not a bad program, but I want them to be able to re-do lessons and quizzes they fail. Because how am I supposed to know what they've mastered if they can just go on to the next lesson?

Sooo much to ponder and keep on top of. I still haven't made much progress in the house, because my mood and energy has been so low.


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