Nostalgic

My oldest, born ten years ago

Tonight, I'm thinking about lavender scented olive oil, birth balls. Bendy straws in water bottles, chux pads, and sitz baths.

I have long forgotten the sweet and salty newborn head, tucked under my chin. The curved rump in footie pajamas warm along my side. Thick prefold diapers under my chest damp with milk, and my soft, hollow belly.

A long time has passed since my shoulders were wrapped in six yards of fabric, artfully arranged around a slumpy little one.

Velvet cheeks, gummy smiles, and wrinkly bow legs with socks that always slipped off of tiny, peeling feet.

Sometimes I ache for it again, four times is not enough - yet more than enough.

And I trust Him that whatever the future holds, it will be right. And alright.